Thursday, August 26

Please don't cry...

I tried to fight for you...

... with fists closed.

I'm sorry.

*With apologies to the Geek.

Evolving Darc

When I was a kid, I thought invisibility was such an awesome superpower. In a way, anonymity gave you freedom. After all, the most potent things are often those unseen.

Psst, kung magiging superhero ka, sino gusto mo maging?

And then I grew up a bit. I envied Storm. If I had her powers then everyday will be sunshine. No overcast horizons, no gushing winds to trip me off. I yearned for predictability, stability that made you feel secure. I feared no sudden drizzle. No sudden storms to cloud my day.

Ako dati si Superman para makalipad. Pero sawa na ako kay SuperMan, BatMan, gusto ko ngayon...

Weathering quite a handful, you grow up a little bit more. And then you realize that to take flight equates to taking risks. And the most heroic thing you could possibly do is to live for another, to risk for another.

I'm YourMan, KailanMan, NaMan!*

*Texts from a stranger :)

Monday, August 23

Of Maternal Instincts and Missosologists

I don't know if it's an offshoot of being OC but somehow, I've got a strong maternal bone in me. I always clean up things, check on what's wrong and make sure that everyone's ok and everything's in order. For instance, during our surf trip a while back, our assigned driver-friend had the colds and after dinner, just when I was about to finish cleaning up our table, I yelled from across the room: "Hoy, may vitamins ka ba?!" And without waiting for an answer, I took out a small ziplock from my bag, went to him and handed over a pill. Yes, I keep extra supplies of vitamins during out-of-town trips in case someone other than me needs them. Yes, nanay na nanay ako.

But then it doesn't stop there. Back in college, I used to head a student org and was often called kuya by the younger ones. Heck, even frat guys called me kuya. At the beginning, I was totally weirded out but then I came to terms with the fact that yep Darc, you're older, you are kuya.

Last Thursday, as I was walking along Mendiola on my way to St. Jude, I saw someone waving at me from a distance. Being the four-eyed blind guy that I am, it took me some time to recognize that these were my kids from college. I really don't know why but there's a certain warmth when these kids receive me. It's as if I'm someone they look up to... that or they just find me nakakaaliw. Perhaps it's because I don't take myself seriously but then they do. Lol. And when they ask how I'm doing, it's more than the usual pleasantries, I can feel the sincerity, the deep concern we really have for each other. I'm not touchy feely but when it comes to them, a hug and a kiss comes naturally. A hug and a kiss... notwithstanding that they are girls. Eeek, suicide. Lol.


I'm one with Soltero* when he echoed Rajo Laurel saying that pageants are the gay world's Super Bowl, World Cup, NBA Finals all rolled into one. I remember jumping up and down the living room as I watched Miriam Quiambao slug it out through to the finals. Haha, slug it out, boxing much? Well, yeah, I guess it really is the ultimate gay sport. But some of us really take this pageant business to a whole new level.

One time, two of my friends and I were having dinner right after our St. Jude visit when pageant talk suddenly surfaced. My, my... my friends really are pageant hobbyists. I have a vague idea of who the previous winners are but really, I have to hand it to them. Much like Mugen's friend, they know by heart all the winners from every Miss Universe edition. And not only that, they know who the finalists are! Country, complete names and all! When they started spitting out names of Latinas and enumerating the country's that got called first during semi-finals, I caught myself doing the tired old nod you give when you have absolutely no idea what people are talking about. This is pageant analysis at its uber ultimate hard core!

Hay, I wish I too was a missosologist. Lol :P

*Dear Soltero, where is your Miss Universe/pageantry post?! I can no longer find it. Bow. Ikaw ha. Lol.

Monday, August 16


Find the resolve to fight it.
Do not weigh. Do not keep score.
Open your hands.
To stories told before you crashed in.
It's useless, you know it is.
Shake it off.
And enjoy the blessing that is now.

I think we've been here before
I recognize this place
I've seen the marks of confusion
Wipe out a single sign of grace
And I don't want to play anymore
Not when the stakes are so high
So before we circle round once more
I'm gonna lay down,
Lay down my pride

Let it go, let it be
Don't waste all your emotion on this
Tit-for-tat machine
Let it go, let it be
Let it go

I turn on the TV
And it screams out at me
Nothing seems to have changed
Since the start of Adam and Eve
So we're waiting for the sky to fall
And we're buying brand new toys
But before we circle round once more
Can we lay down
Just lay down this pride

Let it go, let it be
Don't waste all your emotion on this
Tit-for-tat machine
Let it go, let it be
Let it go
Don't go wasting your emotions
No one wins if we keep score
Let it go, let it be
Let it go

Let It Go, Corinne May

Monday, August 2

Waltz to the Words

I wanted to dance in front of the mirror. But when the song played, I found my arms around your waist... swaying to an imaginary waltz. Only to find out that only I could hear the music and your silhouette was but a mere pillow.

At least I smiled. And it was the most spontaneous smile I've had in a while.

I hate you... I've never missed someone this much :)

What did you say?
I know I saw you singing
But my ears won't stop ringing
Long enough to hear
Those sweet words
What did you say?

End of the day
The hour hand has spun
But before the night is done
I just have to hear
Those sweet words
Spoken like a melody

All your love
Is a lost balloon
Rising up through the afternoon
'Til it could fit on the head of a pin
Come on in
Did you have a hard time sleeping?
Cuz the heavy moon was keeping
Me awake, and all I know is
I'm just glad to
See you again

See my love
Like a lost balloon
Rising up
Through the afternoon, and
Then you appeared

What did you say?
I know what you were singing
But my ears won't stop ringing
Long enough to hear
Those sweet words
And your simple melody

I just have to hear
Those sweet words
Spoken like a melody

I just want to hear
Those sweet words

- Those Sweet Words, Norah Jones