Friday Morning Downer

"Mag-thirty ka na wala ka pang na-aachieve sa buhay. Iyong mga alumni ng org namin na ka-batch mo ang-yayaman na. Ikaw wala pa rin."

So much for familial love right? That's my sister giving me yet another beating earlier this morning. I seriously smell her frustration over me going nowhere, achieving nothing. And this theme of being compared to other people my age has been an overly recurring theme. Heck, even I do it. And yes, there's a pinch of sadness and hurt whenever that "thing" is raised. On one hand it's about meeting expectations that other people and even I set for myself. On the other, it's about genuine concern for material security, of things that I feel I should provide my family yet fail to give. Never mind that my ego gets bruised whenever these moments of assessment happen. I just pray that my parents live long enough to see the day when I can give them a comfortable life. No thinking of whether they should continue working to help sustain the house. No thinking of cutting down on things just so their retirement money would last. No thinking of me not getting to where I'm supposed to be.

*****

To you, I am happy that I kinda made your day light. With all the confusions and disappointments you've been having lately, acknowledging my presence as providing a quick respite gives me something to smile about. But you see, even I have bouts with doubt. It is a constant struggle. It is difficult and it often brings you to tears. The real test is in turning the other way and looking at the brighter side of things. Counting your blessings and realizing that in spite of you not getting to where you want to be, you are still in a better place, a far far better place.

Remember, we take it one day at a time. When all else fails, we have nothing left to do but believe... just believe.