Pag-ibig Ko

We had ambient lighting and the room was already quite dark; probably around 5:30 in the afternoon. Pads asked us to find a comfortable spot in the hall and close our eyes. Being the lazy guy that I am, I lied down on the spot where I used to sit, shut my eyes, and waited for the sudden commotion to die down. A couple of minutes after silence signaled that everyone has settled in, music played. Guitar strums followed by a lone female voice singing of love.

The following morning, I was the earliest to wake up. From my room which I shared with another classmate, I sneaked out to the session hall, looked up the cassette tape, and played the song from the previous night. I sat in the middle of the room, eyes closed, alone. When the song ended, I opened my eyes, looked up and saw Pads standing at the door. He was watching me with a smile.

***

Almost a decade since that incident, I found myself walking aimlessly in a mall when I heard praise songs playing from a nearby kiosk. I approached the girl manning the store and told her that I was looking for a song but I’m not exactly sure of its title or the artist who sang it. Oblivious to how silly I must have looked back then, I started singing to her the lines that I vaguely remembered. She paused, pored over a box, and picked out a CD. She placed the CD in the player, pressed 8, and pressed play. And then a familiar guitar strum and a familiar female voice singing of love... everything for the entire mall to hear.

I thanked her for finding my song and as she handed me the CD, she said: “Sir, God was with you. He blessed you today noh?”

***

I admit, I am attracted to melancholy. At the back of my perverted mind, I believe that all of us are bound by our frailty and it is in that shared experience of pain that we find our common humanity. Sad but true, we feel most human when we bleed and despair. It’s as if we succeed in becoming more human when we fail in whatever it is we do. And that paradox, to me, is made manifest in love, the only intangible capable of hurting you and making you feel good at the same time. Twisted, I know. It's the sado-masochist take on love. But for what it's worth, for all the silly things we do in the name of love, regret is never an option. You give and you bleed and you give and bleed some more... until all you have left is faith.

Courage and faith...
Courage and faith...
Courage and faith...

Have a faith-filled Christmas everyone!

***

Pag-ibig Ko

Hindi ka kailangang magbago
Kahit ito'y mas ibig ko
Hindi ka kailangang magsikap nang husto
Upang ika'y ibigin ko

Iniibig kita, manalig ka sana
Ako'y kapiling mo
Kahit ikaw pa ma'y mapalayo

Kailan magwawakas ang 'yong pagtatago?
Ako'y naghihintay sa 'yo
Lumapit ka lamang ang puso Ko'y hagkan
Pag-ibig Ko'y walang hanggan