Doctor's Orders

I thought I'd drop by an acquaintance's facebook page just to greet her a happy birthday. And there he was, in a white shirt, black-rimmed glasses, wearing the cutest smile I've seen in a while. I don't know but I think this is the first time I've truly felt giddy. It's that authentic giggly feeling. I smile at the mere thought of him even if I'm dead-tired, stressed out or swimming in angst.

Or maybe it's just my closet romantic self. I'm crushing on the idea of a "him."

Worse, the second thing I thought of after stalking him online (the first was how cute he is) is that I want to go to law school. It has been almost five years since I finished my undergrad course and I've decided back then not to pursue law even if it's the most practical thing to do. I've reconciled myself with the fact that I'll be treading a different path while my friends and contemporaries, most of whom took the bar last September, will try to etch their names as legal luminaries. I, the poor, anonymous pencil pusher. They, the filthy-rich movers of the justice system.

But after seeing facebook crushiee otherwise known as the would-be MD, I felt a serious change in outlook. The shift is not even from I'm not going to law school ever to I'm considering law school BUT from zero law school to I WANT to go to law school!

Hay, all these just so I'd at least have a fighting chance with him.

I hate feeling like a dazed school girl... and I hate feeling insecure.