Monday, December 26

Holiday Loot

I have a very low EQ. Give me a gift and I'll unwrap it as soon as you hand it to me. Perhaps it's because I'm not used to receiving stuff or maybe it's because I'm just naturally impatient... or OC that I want to quickly see how my new "acquisitions" fit into "my life." All the same, this year was really fun because I received quite a handful. Hehe

I love boxer briefs and some were thoughtful enough to give me some. Lol.

I was really really really happy to receive this huge bottle of Physiogel from a colleague. Remember my love affair with O? 'Nuff said. Lol

And the vanity continues... Hehe

But what really got me all excited were the things I bought with my - erm, now my nanay's - bonus. Item number 1... a travel toothbrush. Haha

Item number 2... a new lunchbox! Seriously, I had to convince nanay to buy me this. I was all smiles when I opened it and saw two "compartments" inside! Nakakaiyak! Haha

And one of our bosses gave us new one-peso coins for doing an awesome job with the Christmas party presentations. Lol

I also rallied the family to clean up yesterday. Yes, our Christmas was spent cleaning the house, thanks to me! Haha. Found this clutchbag I gave tatay for his birthday a couple of years ago. It's still unused! Finders keepers. Hehe. I just swapped it with some new car mats for him. Lol

And after working for around 7 years, I finally gifted myself with a savings account. Thank you Lord for the means to open one. God really provides. He does make ways.

In other news, a lot of establishments have been mushrooming around Antipolo lately. Yesterday, I saw a mini-mall right outside the church with a Starbucks branch. Yardstick of progress much? But the kasuys and sumans and kalamays still line up the plaza though! :)

Anyhow, thank you to everyone who remembered. Some of the gifts are now neatly lined on my office desk or were much enjoyed by my and my family's tummies. Hehe

Here's too 2011!
Let's go 2012! End of the world! Joke. Hehe


Thursday, December 1

Phone Call Blues

Everyday I try my best to be nice which isn't really that difficult since I'm a very non-confrontational person and I've got loads of patience. One of my colleagues at work even said that if I get ticked or if I lose my cool, then it must be really serious. Lately, perhaps because things ultimately do add up, I found myself sighing a handful of times as I talked to a "client" via phone. It's one thing to spoon feed "bosses" but it gets elevated to a whole new level when they're wrong yet still have the gall to throw their weight around and be arrogant about it.

C: Hi, I want to clarify some things.
D: Sure ma'am.

Round 1...

C: I want to know how many responded to this study.
D: (Hmmmm....) Ma'am, if you noticed, in the first slide, we placed there n=xx.
C: Ok... But there are other things I wanted to ask.

Round 2...

C: Like for this item, you asked whether they give this out or not. But so what?! You didn't even ask about the exact rates!
D: (Hmmmm.... hmmmm....) Ma'am, if you noticed (I'm beginning to love this phrase!), right below that chart is another graph with the percentages and ranges of rates...

Round 3...

C: But how about this one? You asked for the mean when you should have asked for the average, 'di ba?
D: (Hmmm... hmmm... hmmm...) Ma'am, the arithmetic mean IS THE average...
C: Ah, so median iyong middle point?
D: Opo...

And finally, round 4...

C: Pero ito, you asked if they give out this birthday benefit but you didn't ask how many times they give it out in a year?!
D: (Hay...) Erm, ma'am, 'di ba po isa lang naman ang birthday ng isang tao sa isang taon?
C: Hindi kasi ayoko mag-assume, dapat exact... (at this point, I was no longer listening to her. magpapalusot pa eh.)
D: Sure ma'am, next time I'll try to refine the questions further (Ho hum).
C: Oo kasi bakit iyong XXX may ganitong details, kayo wala!
D: Sure ma'am, next time we'll ask those things (but what my raised eyebrow really wanted to say was: Duh, you pay hundreds of thousands for the studies churned out by XXX, I'm giving you these results for free. Kung maka-demand ka naman eh parang hindi mo naman naintindihan iyong mga studies na iyan.)

Sometimes work really is frustrating. The thing I'm scared of is that there are already instances when I'm close to losing my cool while talking to a "client" which is really not a good thing... and I don't want to be like that. I'm cool, calm and collected... at least that's what I aspire to be.


Anyway, in other news, I really felt for KC when she was asked from where she's getting strength and she answered something like, "I've never prayed this much in my life." Hay, I know the feeling. When matters of the heart get me sad or broken, we really do cling our hardest to prayers.


It's the first of December! Merry Christmas! =)

Friday, November 11


Where I'm at in this world has yet to sink in. Being recognized for something you detest doing. Making ends meet by peddling something you abhor. It's ironic really, a wonder if you must. But then we make do with what life offers. You bounce through time's breeze... holding down your heart though the wind's every cough, praying that the next gust will find you in your cradle of peace. And you create ripples as you tip toe through tenuous tracks. Seeing your eyes lodged in your co-pilgrims' grimaced face. You realize that again, you must own your story... for in the end you possess nothing but that. Nothing earthly nor intangible to boast of. Everything's borrowed. At times, stolen. And in the end it's just that. Being recognized for something you detest doing. Making ends meet by peddling something you abhor.

*Thank you to my book missionary who made me re-discover - after a long time of dodging - the thrills of reading :)

Tuesday, October 25

MJ Lastimosa and the things that make me smile

Binibining Pilipinas 2010 saw one of the favorites, MJ Lastimosa, asked what are the three things that make her smile. I can't really remember her answer, but should I be asked the same question, here are my three things:

1. The beach
2. Kids (well as long as they are cute. lol)
3. And random acts of kindness

Last Wednesday, while on my way "somewhere" (hmmm, I should add this "somewhere" as one of the "things" that make me smile...), I was given the opportunity to practice what I preach.

First, a guy approached me a couple of meters from our house and asked if I could spare him some change for his fare home. He said that he was applying for a job and he got short on cash. I knew that there was a manpower agency near our place and so I willingly obliged. I knew that this was no scam and the guy was in real need. After handing him some coins, the guy thanked me and coyly walked away.

Still en route to "somewhere," I then saw an old lady - the type that sells packed lunch in offices - dragging a stroller down the underpass. It was actually quite painful to watch. In the sea of hurrying suits and corporate wear that is Makati, this old lady was slowly pushing down her things one step at a time, careful not to go overboard lest she slide down the stairs body, baggage, and all. Everyone was minding their own business, a handful handed quick glances. And so, since I was in my best suit ever - shirt, shorts, and flip flops - I approached her and volunteered to take her stroller down. At first she was hesitant, saying that her baggage was heavy. I was actually taken aback by that statement. Here's an old lady dragging her things down a flight of stairs. Here comes an "able-bodied guy" offering her help. And then she hesitates because her things are heavy. Really, what has the world gone to?! Anyway, I insisted and she thanked me when I met her at the stairs' landing.

Random acts of kindness. In truth, they do more for the doer than the supposed recipient. For ultimately, the opportunity to help is humbling and priceless. When I was younger, I had this fire to be somebody. I saw myself as a game changer, someone who'd make a marked impact in the world. That greatness seems to grow in abstraction as time goes by. Meanwhile, these small things - the very real opportunities to help - stare at me, at us, on a daily basis.

Life is difficult. But still, I am blessed.


On another note, one my parents' friends passed away. He and his wife are my parents' churchmates and it was inevitable for everyone to know each other's families. I remember him asking how I and my siblings were doing whenever we met on the street. And now that I'm reminded of how fleeting our earthly life is, I really am scared. Scared not of dying but of losing people whom I've shared my life with. I am reminded that for the longest time I've been a sheltered boy. And that life still has much to offer, opportunities, grief, joy, pain and all.

Thursday, October 6


I can't help but raise an eyebrow when people refer to themselves as complicated.

"I'm complicated, you can't figure me out."
"I'm complicated, there's just too much about my life to reduce into plain understanding."

Sure, there are many layers to every situation but self-proclaimed "complications" make me cringe. Sometimes it's just a lousy excuse not to act on something. And don't get me wrong. I too may be paralyzed not to act on something, perhaps because I'm too lazy, perhaps because I'm not too bright or perhaps because I simply don't have the balls to decide. But whatever it may be, I don't gloss over things and run to Mr. Complicated for an easy way out.


And speaking of not being too bright, a week or two ago, I hitched a ride with my professor and in that short ride, he mentioned that one of the guys in class is now working for Company A. For the longest time I've been applying to Company A... for every position imaginable. And it doesn't really help when - modesty aside - I honestly feel that I'm smarter than that classmate. Oh well, I let go. There's not much I can do about that anyway.


Hence, I'm seriously considering living my life according to the principles of open space technology:

1. Whoever comes is the right people.
2. Whatever happens is the only thing that could have.
3. Whenever it starts is the right time.
4. When it is over, it is over.

Pretty basic principles to live a life of contentment. Plus it adds a little twist of destiny to romanticize things. Oh well, that's that.

Thursday, September 22


I'm having a major slump at work.

Yesterday, I was in the office at around 7:30 am for a meeting that lasted just right before lunch time. And then after that was another meeting that ended at around 3:00 pm. And then another meeting that lasted until around 7:00 pm. Personally, I don't see meetings as "actual work" since they're primarily coordination and assignment of THE "actual work" so that means:


Worse is when people you meet with ramble on and on and on throwing their ideas here and there without actual regard for HOW we can actually do the job. Seriously, I'm tired of going into talk shops when there's "actual work" to be done! Perhaps it's a personal preference, after all these talk, I need resolutions as to the things we need to get done and how we can get those things done!

Worst is when you come back the following day coordinating another set of meetings (it's practically setting yourself up for another round of "tasks" you hate doing) and receiving a message that seemingly implies your supposed "slacking off" at work! Here I am spreading myself to almost every project you and your colleagues came up with - because modesty aside, no one in this office can make sense of you guys' thoughts other than me - and yet I receive a note saying you "need updates first and suggestions so that the meeting will be PRODUCTIVE!!!

Seriously?! The nerve to say that when you're one of those who ramble on and on during meetings without as much regard for final output and how to get there!!!

Sometimes people need to be pulled down from the heights of their "strategic" totem poles and refresh their minds with the need to EXECUTE. The tyranny of the "at our level," does lock up people in ivory towers.

That and the advocacies your profession's pushing for.

Such an irony! Such an irony indeed!

Friday, September 16

In the Pink of...

Last night, I was going over my wallet, checking for whatever money's left when I noticed my healthcard sitting in one of the pockets. I haven't used that card this year, I think. I haven't stepped onto The Medical City save for the time when we visited a friend recovering from dengue.

This is monumental! And for that I am extremely thankful!


Thursday, September 15

Project J

Then good manners must be inspired by the good heart. There is no beautifier of complexion, or form, or behavior, like the wish to scatter joy and not pain around us.

- Ralph Waldo Emerson

I hear you Ralph Waldo Emerson. And since I really want to be gwapo, no matter how difficult it may be, I'll try to "scatter joy" around me. People will be joyful because of me! Hahaha. Oh well, if that fails, then I'll just default back to my superficial attempts at becoming gwapo like working out and looking neat and all that stuff. Although they could be simultaneous din naman. Hmmm.

Here's to Project J! ;p

Monday, September 12

That's Not My Name

After 26 years, I've finally learned to appreciate my name. It's not too ordinary yet not that far out either. And when I see something awesome, I get to exclaim the second half of my name. It's cool that way, associating my name with things awesome. Lol

Meanwhile, I found the best doughnuts in CDO. It's your plain ring doughnut dusted with confectionery sugar. But what makes it different is that it's soft but not airy and it literally melts in your mouth. The doughnut turns into this rich batter as you chew it away. They rival KK Geek, I promise!

So if you're in CDO, don't miss out on those doughnuts at the Polymedic Hospital (I know, it's hospital food! Lol) and do drop by Pearlmont Hotel for their really really great roast stuffed chicken. But order in advance because it takes about 5 hours to prepare. Really good stuff, I swear!

It's September na pala... and then it's gonna be October na (duh. Lol). And October is birthday month! Not really looking forward to getting "older" but I do look forward to feeding friends. Hehe :P

Thursday, September 1

Looooong Weekend

I had to fend for myself during the long weekend. Hehe

Saute garlic in sesame oil.
Add chicken.
Add pepper.
Pour in some kikkoman soy sauce, worscestershire sauce, and oyster sauce.
Add some brown sugar.
Add some water.

And yes, I eat that much rice. Lol


Saute vegetables in butter.
Add some salt.

Get some cottage cheese, add basil and pepper.
Sandwich cheese in between chicken fillets.
Roll the chicken fillets in some "crispy fry."


Fry some bangus belly.

Serve with garlic fried rice.


Tuesday, August 23


For the past couple of weeks, I've been seriously toying with the idea of being gwapo. I mean, I really really want to be gwapo. Yes it's superficial but I don't know, it must be the stars and the weather that finally put me in this state. I guess I've grown quite tired of my existential rants and heartaches that I've reached that point when all my energies churn out thoughts and desires to be gwapo.

And yesterday was the final nail in the coffin.

As usual, I was the glorified secretary in my bosses' meeting yesterday. One of them was a young lawyer whom I found out to be just 35 years old. He's a bar topnotcher, working for one of the better-known firms in the country, a family guy with 2 kids. He's really really nice and yes, he is gwapo. Hay, he's perfect, nakakainis. Lol.

And while I was in the elevator making my way down the lobby, there was another young lawyer who was again, gwapo. Nakakainis na talaga!

I don't really consider this as reverting to a shallow mindset... because in the first place, I really am shallow. I mean I like Paris "even though the guys are crazy, even though the stars are blind" Hilton, what say you? Lol.

But then this might just be me displacing my desire to be in a better place. From missed and missing opportunities to looks. Envy can be such a drag.

Lots of guys out there who are young, successful and gwapo. Why do they have everything all at once?! Kainis!

Tuesday, July 12

Like Moth to a Flame

Why is it that confronted with something we know fully well would hurt us, we still jump eyes closed and plunge toward pain? Is it because pain is enticing and it is what reminds us that we're alive? Or is it because we succumb to our own hubris with the thought that surviving it can only make us stronger? Or is it because we feel helpless and just surrender?

Monday, July 4

He is Evil!

'Nuff said. Lol.

Haberdey Geek! :P

Friday, July 1

Stories of our lives

It's interesting how you get to read the story of your life in other people's words. And they say it far more elegantly, eloquently than you could ever do.

Solidarity and a sense of familiarity. Stories that re-assure you that you are never alone. Of seeing yourself in other people's shoes... and ending up sighing not only for them, but for yourself as well.

At the end of the day it's about coming to terms with your choices and other people's choices that they make for you. Of finding people who see the same truth as you do and of hoping, dreaming and moving on. Yes, we move on.

Wednesday, June 15

Harder than it seems...

Found this online. Do visit Isa Garcia's blog! She's quite insightful without being stuffy and preachy. I like her.


You Should Date…

Posted on June 6, 2011 by everydayisa

My good friend, Den, suggested that I blog and write down all the reasons why I think guys should date me. It’s a promising topic (because I really believe that I’m date-able!) but right now, something that I think bears more weight is: The Kind of Person I Want YOU to Date.

I don’t know who you are but I want great things for you. I want you to have romance and committed love and something real. Something that lasts. That’s really hard to come by these days but I want that for you and I want that for me, too. Here are some of the things I wish I could tell my future children about love. To be honest, I don’t know if I’m ever going to get married and have kids but that’s okay. I’ll pass these things on to you instead. You, my friend, are worthy of great, authentic love.

Please never settle.




The person I want you to date exists and I want you to wait it out until you meet them. Because, in case you haven’t yet, you will. Waiting is for the brave – it means watching years pass, noticing yourself growing older and sitting through wedding after wedding after wedding. It means bottling that slow-rising fear. It means questioning your standards and running the risk of settling.

I wish someone had told me that the person I was meant to be with was a real actual living person, breathing in some part of the world and waiting, too. I did not believe in romantic destiny so I projected all my hopes into the wrong people and tried desperately to make these wrong people right. In the end, no one won and the aftermath was a combination of devastating grief, self-loathing and crippling regret. I do not want that for you.


The person I want you to date might be making morning coffee right now or sleeping through a thunderstorm or getting a degree in Physics. Wait. I mean it. Every other person will be a cheap imitation of the real thing.

The person I want you to date believes in big things. This person has a passion and pursues it with a hunger that could set the world on fire. This person believes in setting goals and making them happen. Trust me: you will never regret being with someone who is madly in love with their purpose in life. When you meet this person — this unstoppable ball of good fury — I want you to have a vision of your own. A goal you can shape your life around. I want you to have a desire to change the world, whatever pocket of it you belong to. You can’t be stagnant when the person you’re with is active and dynamic. Life is a grand celebration of doing great things that matter and you (yes, you) play a huge part in all of it.

The person I want you to date has character. When you’re young, all you’re looking for is personality. Charm. Compatibility in music and book taste and food preferences. I think these are all well and good but character is what sustains a relationship when all of these things change. Personality is ever-evolving, character grows and amplifies in time. Character is when a person does beautiful things without seeking credit. It’s when someone doesn’t quit — even if every fiber of their being begs them to. It’s the ability of someone to graciously expend back-breaking heart-wrenching love to someone who has disappointed and failed them. Character is that beautiful thing that gets molded over time and experience. Be someone with character and never settle for someone without it.

The person I want you to date will be into you. Really, really into you. There will be no need for pointless mind games, no room for even the slightest bit of emotional confusion. The person I want you to date will be crystal clear about their intentions towards you. They will not win you over with sweet nothings or romantic gestures. Their love will be bigger than the superficial trappings of courtship. The person I want you to date will take the time to get to know you. They will see everything there is to love about you and they will look at the core of all the bad stuff and not balk. They will not run at the first sign of ugliness. Instead, they will love you through it.

I want you to know that the person I want you to date will fail you. Give them the grace to be human. (You are one, too.) Don’t listen to those stupid quotes that tell you that the person who loves you will never make you cry. I want you to realistically approach this thing we call human relationships. Hurting one another is part of the messy dynamics of getting close to someone. But the person I want you to date is a person who knows how to resolve conflict especially when it blows up in both your faces. Their ego will never be too big to own up to their mistakes.

And when it comes to their love for you, YOU WILL KNOW. Their love will be the most painfully obvious thing in the world that though you will come to question many, many things in life, you will never — not even once — question them.

And you know what? They will believe in you so much that you will never feel compelled to question yourself. You will put all your insecurities to rest because the person I want you to date will, more than anything, make you feel that you matter. Always. And you know why? Because you do. Description: :)

I’m sure it sounds like a long shot but what if you dared to believe that the person I want you to date is real? Love is greater than cynicism and this is what I believe — yes, me, the last single girl in the world: While some people think this all sounds too good to be true, there is a God who is out to give us things that are much too good to be false.

Believe. Don’t settle. And in the meantime: become the person that the person you’re looking for is looking for.

Tuesday, June 14


I really didn't know what I was getting into after all.

Monday, June 13

Out there...

it's raining.

Missed Call

Question, how do you save the numbers of people you meet online? I mean, what name do you save in your phonebooks? Do you type in their online pseudonyms with a tag "Blogger" before them? Or perhaps you use their real names?

I guess it's because I'm a little OC that I prefer having people's full names in my phonebook. Plus it's a personal preference that I be called my own name. If truth be told, I kinda cringe when people call me Darc even after we've personally met. I cringe big time! Lol

And I recall an online/offline friend who told me before that I've "levelled up" since he already saved my number under my real name in his phonebook. And that made me think, is the way we save people's numbers reflective of the level of closeness or intimacy we have with that person? Seems to me there is a real online/offline divide that needs to be transcended and that requires a substantial degree of trust and shared offline experience.

What do you think? More importantly, how is my number saved in your phonebooks? Lol

Thursday, June 9

The Coward Stamp

I received a link in one of my Facebook groups that pointed to an article by Jonathan Franzen published as an op-ed in the New York Times. Its title was "Liking is for Cowards. Go for What Hurts." I have yet to fully bite the article and grasp the many things it pointed out but let me share with you some parts that struck me most.

1. That being liked is often an obstacle to being loved.

"The simple fact of the matter is that trying to be perfectly likable is incompatible with loving relationships. Sooner or later, for example, you’re going to find yourself in a hideous, screaming fight, and you’ll hear coming out of your mouth things that you yourself don’t like at all, things that shatter your self-image as a fair, kind, cool, attractive, in-control, funny, likable person. Something realer than likability has come out in you, and suddenly you’re having an actual life."

2. That trying to please everyone and keeping the peace may in fact be a reflection of a deep-seated self-centeredness, narcissism even.

"This is not to say that love is only about fighting. Love is about bottomless empathy, born out of the heart’s revelation that another person is every bit as real as you are. And this is why love, as I understand it, is always specific. Trying to love all of humanity may be a worthy endeavor, but, in a funny way, it keeps the focus on the self, on the self’s own moral or spiritual well-being. Whereas, to love a specific person, and to identify with his or her struggles and joys as if they were your own, you have to surrender some of your self."

3. That pain is an integral part of human existence (suddenly, the Goo Goo Dolls sing in my head, "Yeah you bleed just to know you're alive.").

"And yet pain hurts but it doesn’t kill. When you consider the alternative — an anesthetized dream of self-sufficiency, abetted by technology — pain emerges as the natural product and natural indicator of being alive in a resistant world. To go through a life painlessly is to have not lived. Even just to say to yourself, 'Oh, I’ll get to that love and pain stuff later, maybe in my 30s' is to consign yourself to 10 years of merely taking up space on the planet and burning up its resources. Of being (and I mean this in the most damning sense of the word) a consumer."

4. And that loving in spite of the hurt, celebrates what is in fact our borrowed time on earth.

"Which is what love will do to a person. Because the fundamental fact about all of us is that we’re alive for a while but will die before long. This fact is the real root cause of all our anger and pain and despair. And you can either run from this fact or, by way of love, you can embrace it."

So from now on, I guess the only resolution is to just keep on loving and living, to take chances and risks and allow ourselves to be vulnerable for it is in exposing the entirety of ourselves - faults, disagreeable tendencies and all - that we allow other people to love us in the truest sense of the word. Something that goes beyond liking and merely existing.

PS: The article escapes me but I've also read somewhere that an indicator of a troubled relationship is when you keep things and issues to yourself because you fear that it will cause argument between you and your partner. I guess honesty and acceptance do take precedence over keeping an erstwhile "imagined" sense of peace.

Wednesday, June 8


1. Chest x-ray
2. Blood pressure
3. Pulse rate
4. Routine lab tests
5. Dental check-up
6. Visual acuity

And then came the weigh in...

"Sir, ang-gaang niyo," the nurse quipped after adjusting the scale a couple of times to a lower bar.

And then the physical check-up...

"You're generally ok although I'd recommend that you see an ophthalmologist for your eyes. It's great that you don't smoke and occasional drinking is actually good for your health. Your heartbeat's ok too; it's slow much like that of an athlete's (Darc blushes) and should you wish to add on weight, your max would probably be around 130 lbs. You're trying to lean up right?"

I replied with a half-hearted, "Ok."

What can I do, I have weight issues. Hehe

Thursday, June 2

Second Best

I was surfing Youtube, hopping from one video to another when I finally landed on John Legend's Vevo page and clicked on "Everybody Knows." I like this song, that's a given. But what caught my attention was the highest rated comment found just below the video. It says:

I remember dancing this song with my girlfriend at her graduation 2 years ago....... We are now seperated...The thing is.....I still love her with all my heart....even more than my current gf.... Take my advice and enjoy your time with your special someone because nobody really knows.... :(