22 May 2010

I bought a couple of herbs probably a week or two ago and I noticed that my water mints quickly turned yellow and wilted. One by one the leaves fell. With even the slightest tap, they flew down from the stalks to kiss the ground.

But then, this morning I noticed, they were actually getting taller. And the nodes from which the wilted leaves fell sprouted baby roots that now try to anchor itself to the soil.

I guess some dying really needs to take place for some growth. Some wilting needs to take place in order to grow some roots and be taller.

*****

And that pinch in my heart almost took over this morning. Singing God Blessed the Broken Road while walking uphill toward the office, my eyes again welled up.

Courage and faith, Darc.

You gotta have courage to push on in spite of the hurt.
You gotta have faith that this broken road you again found yourself in will someday lead straight to your Northern Star.

I am exactly where I'm supposed to be. God has placed me here for a reason. I've lifted my pain to Him and His will shall restore my heart. I claim His healing. And I know that someday, in His time, I shall be at peace.

*****

Back in fourth grade, our class adviser gave out cards to remember her by. I know that God works through people and that that card I received was meant for me. I've had the blessed opportunity to meet some of you beyond the confines of this space, and this prayer will probably explain to you why I am who I am.

I've been saying this prayer since I was a little kid and everytime I find myself in states such as this, I hold on to the promise that I must be a good person... or at least try to be like Him.

Teach me, my Lord, to be sweet and gentle in all the events of life: in disappointments, in the thoughtfulness of others, in the insincerity of those I trusted, in the unfaithfulness of those on whom I relied.

Let me put myself aside, to think of the happiness of others, to hide my little pains and heartaches, so that I may be the only one to suffer them.

Teach me to profit by the suffering that comes across my path. Let me so use it that it may mellow me, not harden nor embitter me; that it may make me patient, not irritable, that it may make me broad in my forgiveness, not narrow, haughty and overbearing. May no one be less good for having come within my influence. No one less pure, less noble for having been a fellow-traveller in our journey toward eternal life.

As I go my rounds from one distraction to another, let me whisper, from time to time, a word of love to You. May my life be lived in the supernatural, full of power for good, and strong in its purpose of sanctity. Amen.