This is the same sadness I felt when I found myself floating in a pool, face up, staring at a sky half-afternoon, half-night. It was raining but the gray clouds allowed for some tiny lights to peep. Almost dinner, I thought. And from a distance I could hear the South China Sea crashing against a beach of pebbles. The coast was more of a reef really, a stretch of calcified corals whose puddles of water during low tide allowed one to "swim" in salt water. At the end of that stretch though was a deep drop. The fishermen and other locals warned us not to go near that border. Though we may be prudent enough not to jump that steep underwater cliff, the waves are not as forgiving. They pound and in a split second, they could sweep us off our feet and have us floating to the sea.
It was gloomy to say the least. But that gloom was a perfect fit to what I felt. And when you're sad and tired at the same time, emptiness creeps in. Twisted, yet that emptiness provided some solace. At that point, I felt a sense of peace.
I was at peace... floating in a pool, staring at a conflicted sky, gray clouds sending me wet kisses. I close my eyes, and sigh.