I am mustering the audacity to write down my rule book - lessons on heartbreak that must be considered before taking second, third, fourth, fifth or nth chances. Why? For catharsis and for the benefit of those in la la la land who are shackled by hopes - hopes that things will get better that's why you hold on and you continue to take chances. I recognize the bitterness so there's no need to point that one out. Chances are these rules are applicable only to those who choose to believe them. After all, to romanticize is one of humanity's greatest follies.
And so we proceed with Lesson #1: The Glass Jar Principle
The Glass Jar Principle is the age-old dictum on fixing broken relationships: even if you piece things back together, the fault lines that glue them will forever haunt you. They are testaments to the infidelity, to the hurt, to the betrayal. The Glass Jar Principle is otherwise known as the Spectre of the Past. Past critical junctures are ghosts that will knock at your door everytime an argument or misunderstanding arises. Fact is, once the glass jar is shattered, your sense of security is also likely shattered. Hence, you contiue to find assurance that if not assuaged, will be toxic to your "renewed" relationship. The pain and insecurity will continually pound at you to the point that you'd rather be alone than stay in the relationship: after a period of time, the hurt of being alone will equalize the hurt of being together.
Bottom line? Take time to heal before taking second chances, or better yet, if you can't stand the insecurity, then don't take second chances at all.
Next lesson: The Law of Worth and Risks
- My Facebook Note, 10 June 2009