Heartbreak 101: Lesson #3

I am mustering the audacity to write down my rule book - lessons on heartbreak that must be considered before taking second, third, fourth, fifth or nth chances. Why? For catharsis and for the benefit of those in la la la land who are shackled by hopes - hopes that things will get better that's why you hold on and you continue to take chances. I recognize the bitterness so there's no need to point that one out. Chances are these rules are applicable only to those who choose to believe them. After all, to romanticize is one of humanity's greatest follies.

Lesson #1: The Glass Jar Principle
Lesson #2: The Law of Worth and Risks
Lesson #3: The Matter Theory

The Matter Theory is a rather simple proposition:

"If it occupies space in your mind and heart, then it matters."

In a relationship, how often have you found yourself brushing aside the supposedly "petty" things that bother you? You have that nagging feeling that something's wrong but you ignore it simply because you can't put a finger on it. You know something's wrong and things aren't working out but you don't know exactly why. And this vagueness pushes you to think that perhaps it's not really a problem. After all, what you can't define can't possibly be a major problem, right?

Guess again.

A concern need not take a definite shape before it wreaks havoc in your relationship. In fact, these vague clouds are more potent, far more dangerous. Like an acid poured onto your mind and heart, it accumulates and takes the form that you wish. The anxieties corrode your relationship to the point that vulnerabilities surface and these weak spots eventually give in.

Left unchecked, these potholes of what once were vague questions, could spell the end of your relationship.

Bottomline? Do not put out fires, seek out the sparks that light them.

Next lesson: The Fallacy of Advice

- My Facebook Note, 11 June 2009